Just finished running my manuscript through the WordPerfect Grammatik. I ran into so frustrating, if not down right maddening rules that drove me crazy. Rules that can, in dialogue screw up you character’s way off speaking, if you adhere to them, Here are seven I found and I will ignore.
There are two types of grammar: Prescriptive grammar, which prescribes what should be, and descriptive, which describes what is customary. Tension between the two systems is
foreseeable and healthy; it keeps us thinking about what we’re writing and how we're saying it.
Allowing mob rule at the expense of some governing of composition is madness, but articulate absolutism is dangerous, also. As with any prescription, overdosing is contraindicated. Here are seven hard pills to swallow for the language storm troopers who insist on a strict attachment to rigid syntactic patterns at the expense of, well for lack of a better word, language:
1. Never begin a sentence with a conjunction. WHAT! WHY!
And why not? For an honorable tradition of doing just that exists. But many people persist in prohibiting this technique. Yet as writers defy them. Or we ignore or laugh at them, neither of which they appreciate. Nor do they understand our attitude, though we try to convince them, and will continue to do so. So there.
The words beginning each of these sentences are conjunctions, easily recalled with the mnemonic FANBOYS. Every one is perfectly acceptable at the head of a sentence. As is obvious from the previous paragraph, however, a little goes a long way.
In case you don’t know,
For
And
Nor
But
Or
Yet
So
2. Distinguish between, While and Though
Petty prescriptivists would have us reserve while for temporal usage only: "While I agree, I resist," they say, should be revised to "Though I do agree, I resist." I will admit I often change while to though, and while I understand, I’m sorry, I can not stop myself , and though I understand that it may seem bookish, but I think though reads better.
3. Use Data only in the plural sense. (Huh!)
Who came up with this data? The alternative is to use the word datum in the singular sense, which makes you sound like a propeller head. (Look it up, kids.) People who say "datum" get data, but they don’t get dates.
4. Never split an infinitive.
It isn’t wise to always ignore this fallacious rule against dividing the elements of the verb phrase "to (verb)" with an adverb, but to blindly follow it is to prohibit pleasing turns of phrase — one of the best known of which is from the introductory voice-over from all the Star Trek television series: "to boldly go where no one has gone before." (The original series, produced before the more recent sensitivity to gender bias, put it "no man.")
5. Use none only in the singular sense. (What!)
None of these rules, followed strictly, allow for a vernacular ease with language.
Did Earth stop spinning? Did that sentence hurt? Did the waves stop crashing to shore? If you Want to replace none with "not one" or "no one" ("Not one person admitted guilt"; "No one saw that coming"), by all means, do so, but fear not none in a plural sense.
7. Distinguish between Since and Because.
Ditto. And ditto. I agree that indiscriminate replacement of since with because may seem finicky, but since — ahem — because I find the latter word more pleasing, I reserve the right to prefer it.
6. Never end a sentence with a preposition.
This rule is ridiculous, to start with. If you believe it, please tell me what planet you are from. Give it up. What are you striving for? Do I get my point across
The stricture against closing sentences with words that describe position stems from an eighteen-century fetish for the supposed perfection of classical Latin, which allowed no split infinitives — for the excellent reason that Latin infinitives consist of single words. English, however, being a distant relative of that language, should be allowed to form its own customs.
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