Outlines, WHY?

Why An Outline?

An outline is like a building’s foundation. Without one a building will not long stand and neither will your story. Your outline is the framework on which you build a solid, powerful, cohesive tale. Without it, your story most likely breakdown midway through your first draft.

When the idea of outlining is brought up in writing workshops, most beginners stare glassy-eyed before admitting that they've never tried this technique to develop their stories. I can even imagine seasoned writers reacting badly, arguing that outlines stifle creativity and spontaneity.

Who's right?

To find out, first try to write a story your own way. Jump right in. Be spontaneous. Exhaust your creativity. Get it all on paper or into your computer. After the first draft, if your story is in trouble and you're not sure why, see if an outline will help. You may be pleasantly surprised. You may even find that this valuable tool is perhaps the most important step in the writing process.

Why?

(If you haven’t caught onto the theme of this article yet, reread paragraph one again.)

Because an outline is the foundation of your story, a framework on which to build a solid, powerful story that your audience will read cover to cover. Many people who earn their living writing almost always outline their story idea before they start their first draft. While they may not write out a complete diagram, seasoned writers can tell you what will happen to their characters in general terms from the first sentence until the last word. An outline forces a writer to think through their story chapter by chapter. It shows us quickly and precisely:

(1) the depth of our principal character's problem.

(2) if our story adequately resolves that problem.

(3) whether our plot logically takes the character from his problem to the eventual resolution.



How Deep Is Deep Enough?

One way to begin is to determine what kind of story you want to tell. Most stories fall into three general categories or any combination of the three: man against himself, man against man, and man against his environment. Take note of the word against in all three categories. Against implies conflict and action, an essential ingredient for any successful story. (Subject of a later article in this series.)

Start by writing down the kind of conflict that concerns your main character. With this information in front of you, you're ready to begin your outline. The first line – the problem – should describe your character's dilemma in a short, concise phrase. Don't settle for a superficial summary of an event. Instead, create an image that conveys the turmoil deep within your character's heart and soul. A lot of your story's power will depend on how well you've thought through this step.



Let's explore an example.

Brilliant nuro-surgeon operates on best friend's wife.

Wife dies during surgery.

Guilt ridden doctor plunges headlong down a road of a self-destruction. Abusing alcohol and drugs, he seeks to kill the pain and ultimately himself – this is your man-against-himself story.

However, after two drafts you’re stumped. All your wonderful ideas don’t make for an interesting, powerful story. You suspected your logic is flawed, but you don’t know how to fix it.

Let's see if an outline can help.

What is the character's problem? Is it: "surgeon loses patient"?

That's what you might conclude. "Surgeon loses patient" is what happens, but that won’t tell your reader anything about the surgeon's inner struggle. Why is the doctor shattered by the death of one patient? Surgeons work with death every day. What makes this operation different?

Is it because the surgeon knew his patient? Owed something to his friend? Or did the doctor commit some blunder that cost the woman her life? Did someone else make a mistake? Was her death an act of God? Answering these questions will tell the you as the writer how profound the story is.

If the problem simply is "surgeon loses patient," this may suggest a technical day-in-the-life story devoid of emotional depth. If you planned to resolve "surgeon loses patient" with "surgeon kills himself," you can immediately see that your logic is flawed.

If the doctor is not at fault in woman's death is not, yet it destroys him with guilt, your readers will feel little empathy for the character. What makes this episode worthy of the reader's attention? Dig deeper for the answer. Remember the "man against himself" theme? Could the surgeon have made an honest mistake. Does the woman's death resurrect long buried doubts on your doctors ability to help others.

We may be getting warmer. During a routine operation on his best friend's wife, the surgeon's faith in himself and his profession is suddenly shattered. Using an outline to discover the character's innermost conflict will lead you to a richer story.

A shallow story about a loser who throws away his gifted life after one mishap will leave the reader with an empty experience, a story only half read and tossed aside. But a story about a doctor who has deep-seated doubts about his ability to help others could offer an intriguing glimpse into the human side of medicine. So, on your first line, jot down your character's innermost turmoil: "Surgeon doubts his abilities."

Resolution

Once you have identified you character's "real" problem – his inner struggle – you can go immediately to the story’s resolution and make a crucial decision. Does your character eventually come to terms with his fallibility and emerge from the

crisis a wiser man, a more confident and competent surgeon? Or does he kill himself in a street fight over a bottle of booze, as originally planned.

Does the second option resolve his conflict of self-doubt?

Of course not. Because it doesn't, your audience would feel cheated. Perhaps you wanted to make a sad statement about abusing drugs and booze. Too shallow? People make for good stories, not alcohol and drugs. Perhaps you want to tell a story about a man who can't live with his mistake. In that case his death, by his own hand, resolves his inner turmoil, and we perhaps learn a sad lesson about throwing one’s life away. Still shallow

Let's go back to our original idea. A surgeon with serious doubts about his ability to help others. After the tragic operation, he believes he has let his best friend down. He isn't the savior he thought he was. To bury his lost confidence, he succumbs to drink and nearly destroys himself. During the course of the story, however, the character discovers that the gift of life is not his to give. After all, he isn't God, merely a man, with all man's fallibility. Once the character understands this, he can continue practicing medicine, but with a new-found respect for the miracle of life.

So your resolution falls into place: "Surgeon accepts his fallibility."

Let's look at the outline so far:
Problem: Surgeon doubts his abilities.

Plot:
1)
2)
3)
Resolution: Surgeon accepts his fallibility.

Map Out Your Plot

Once the complication and resolution are clear, you now must develop your story around the character resolution of his issue. You begin to see that some of your original ideas and assumptions no longer fit. Examine each scene in your draft and ask yourself if it helps resolve the character's problem. If it doesn't, be your own tough editor and take it out.

Let's see how your story had fared.

After retreating to booze (the first plot development), the surgeon finds himself estranged from his family, divorced, and living on his own in a dive. He develops a relationship with a nurse from his hospital who is one of the dew who still believes in him. In you original story line, it might have been clear even to you what role this nurse would play other than narrating her friends failure and road to self-destruction. Obviously, the nurse could not help doctor. Following the conflict– resolution outline developed thus far, the nurse must help man understand his role as a doctor. The writer needs one final scene called the epiphany. Something must happen that turns on the floodlight of inner revelation that shows the surgeon the way out of his dilemma. This pivotal plot development was missing from the your original story.

What can she do? Here's a solution: They are caught in the middle of a disaster that strikes the town in which they live. (Fire, flood, earthquake, railroad crash, plane crash, etc.) They find themselves at a hospital in a low-income neighborhood. There, our doctor is compelled to operate amidst overcrowding. Due to overwrought doctors less capable than himself, he loses himself in relieving the suffering of the injured. He successfully intervenes and directs the hospital staff in saving hundreds of lives while still losing many who cannot be saved. This bring your doctor to experience his moment of truth. He comes to understand he can make a difference even if he can’t save everyone. He is not in control of who lives or dies. He understands that by throwing away his gift he is guilty of a much bigger sin than letting his best friends wife die. So, with his good friend’s help, your doctor makes peace with himself and swears off liquor and drugs. In a final scene you surgeon is back in the operating theater saving the lives of needy children. Does he go back to his wife or stick with the nurse who had faith in him? That is for you to decide. Any way it’s nice, respectable story.

The completed outline now reads:
Theme: Man against himself.
Problem: Surgeon doubts his abilities
Plot:
1) Surgeon retreats to drugs and booze.
2) Nurse/friend sticks by doctor.
3) Nurse helps Doctor fine his real worth
Resolution: Surgeon accepts his fallibility

Conclusion: Surgeon resumes strong, caring practice with a much more balanced outlook on life.

Outline’s Value
An outline is one of countless ways you or any writer could develop a story around this particular problem and resolution. Nothing to stifle creativity here. There's still plenty of room in this well-thought-out story for experimentation. An outline is a fluid document. During the first draft, you're free to refine and change it as your story takes shape The rest of the process is straightforward. With a little outline taped below the computer monitor, any writer can start a new draft and know precisely where to focus the narrative drive. Having established a solid foundation, concentrate on characterization, dialogue, pacing and all the other ingredients that make a read compelling.

Outlines need not be lengthy tomes, nor should they take long to complete. If you can't seem to finish your outline, this may be a sign that all is not well with your story idea. If you get mired down, ask yourself: Is your character problem compelling enough to build a story around? Does your resolution adaquility solve your character's problem? Do your plot developments logically take the character from his problem to his resolution? If not, can you come up with a series of events that do? Don't leave your story's development to chance; instead, use an outline to build a solid foundation.

This fundamental step will quickly and clearly show you:

(1) the depth of your character's problem;

(2) how the character goes about solving his or her problem;

(3) whether the final resolution supports the rest of your story.

Before you begin writing, that's the least you should know about your story. Outlining first may make the difference between a story with impact and depth, or a mediocre tale; receiving royalty checks, or a rejection letter.

Blurb Writing

Time to talk about blurb and promotional writing.

After your work is accepted and the editorial summaries considered, a publisher, (his or her) editor and sales force decide where in their monthly sales lists the book will fit and approximately how many copies will sell. You may be shocked to learn (as a beginning writer only one person in a publishing house reads your book.) However, this in most cases, it’s true. There is just no budget or time to have more people read through and review the work.

So now, one bright, sunny morning, three or four months after the last time the editor read your book, there is a scheduled meeting with sales and cover design and your book is up on the docket as one they will discuss. But only the editor has read the book, so it’s the editor’s job to write the sales blurb and back cover copy and some of the catalog copy. And normally they do it in a rush to make the meeting, from memory of the book they read months before.

I kid you not.

They might on rare occasion glance back at the manuscript, reread at any promotional material the author sent in, and scan their notes. Then in a blinding snap of brilliance he or she writes, to the best of their ability the blurb before that morning’s deadline. Editors write cover copy and blurb copy. Why you might ask? The good members of the sales force are not writers and they haven’t read the book. They may have only read the editor’s summary of the book and maybe a first chapter. In today tough competitive publishing market there is not enough time or money in any line of books have a dedicated ad-copy writer. So in most houses, and for most book lines, the task falls to the editors.

And more times than not they do the writing mostly from memory of a book they read months before, usually going directly to the plot and often turning-point scenes that give away too much, because that’s what they remember. That’s one of the many reasons writers need to learn how to write good cover copy and back cover blurbs that will sell. And use tag lines, especially when you have a good one.

A good tag line is one like this from Lee Hoffman’s Caves of Karst. ‘Griffin was a breather, he was better off dead.’ That, along with the 60's cover art was enough to make a youthful Science Fiction reader (me) to buy the book,

And make sure the editors have what you wrote in case they wanted to use it. Most editors have zero issue accepting help on this from their authors, if their authors know how to write blurbs.

Sadly, most authors do not. Most authors selling to traditional publishing wouldn’t know a good blurb that would help sell their book if their life depended on it. And that’s the expectations of editors for their authors as well. Editors are always stunned and happily surprised when a writer helps them with quality ad copy. So the editors write the blurbs and back cover copy, usually at the last minute, often from memory of a book read long before.

Indie PublishingWith Indie publishing, everything falls to the author. And just as with traditionally published authors, that’s a bad thing. Most indie authors have no sense of business and the idea that an indie author being able write a blurb that is a sales tool to help sell their own book is just pretty funny. Sad, but comical. When you flat don’t understand business and have no desire to learn, you sure can’t begin to understand sales of anything.

I must remind everyone here, selling books is a business and only a business. The care, love, blood, sweat and tears you poured into your story are worthless if the book doesn’t sell.

Indie authors tend to write blurbs that go to far into the plot details. A bad thing. And they write blurbs that are filled with passive verbs, and often focus the subject on something that makes their own books unattractive to buyers.

Why? Because we wrote the thing. Therefore, that cool scene on page fifty should be mentioned in the blurb, even though it’s about the heroin cutting off her would-be killers hand in her new snow blower. Yeah, that will sell. Maybe to five people. But most indie author are in love with a special scene and that scene winds up in the blurb.

When the book doesn’t sell he or shew lowers the price to 99 cents. Trust me, a book with a bad blurb on it sells no better at 99 cents than it did at $7.95.

The lessons for blurb writing are far to detailed to put into this blog, try the links below.

http://www.bookproposalwriting.com/bookproposal/016-sample-book-blurbs.php

http://leslielsanders.hubpages.com/hub/Tips-on-Writing-an-Engaging-Book-Blurb

http://marilynnbyerly.com/blurb.html

Summary Traditional publishing writing ad copy and blurbs is bad at best for most first novelists and genre novels. It gets better, as most things do in traditional publishing, when the advance gets higher. Still for most writers, only luck can get you a good blurb.

However, on the indie side blurb writing sucks worse. In traditional at least there is a professional editor who has written a lot of blurbs writing the ad copy. And a sales force to say no if the copy is good or bad. In indie publishing, most writers spend little or no attention to writing a blurb. And don’t know how to do it well if they did pay attention.

Even though it is the third step in the selling process that a buyer goes through to buy a book, indie publishers ignore the ramifications of writing a bad blurb. They give the process only a moment’s thought, usually tossing off a blurb in a rush on the fly because writing it seems like a chore and they don’t want to get their hands dirty.

And they wonder why their books don’t sell. Some writers can’t even see a passive verb. If you have no idea what I am talking about when I say active language and sales copy, go watch a short video called "Five Guys in a Limo" on YouTube. Pay close attention you will not find one passive verb in the entire thing.

The skill can be learned with some focus and practice and help. If you learn it, you can help your editor in your traditional publishing company and you can help your indie books sell more copies. There are numerous site in the Internet you can refer to. I have included three but there are more. Invest the time and you’ll develop a useful skill you can pass on.

Enjoy, practice and have fun.

RRDraude

Alphas

I caught season one premier but missed the last episode of season one so I had catching up to do.
First off season one left me a bit flat. Watching the actors go through their roles was stiff and cumbersome, but I’ve noticed many good shows have the same problem. In its first season NCIS LA’s cast suffered the same disconnect from their characters. The show is rock solid now.

Watching the cast of Alphas in the first season was much the same, like a man in an ill fitting suit. The actors were still  figuring out their powers and how best to display  their character's and their powers in a believable manner.

Season two was much better. The cast is solid and seem comfortable in the personas’ of the alter egos. The story line for this seasons premier left me wishing I had viewed the season one closer. I was lost for a few minutes but caught up as the actors moved on set. The action well done.

Alphas is an ambitious series and owes a lot to X-Men. Thought it's heros' abilities are, to say the least, very off beat. Cameron is still struggling to control his abilities. I especially like Ryan Cartwright’s character, Gary Bell. He plays an autistic man who can see and hear elector-magnetic transmissions of any kind, radio, cell phones, television, or Internet. The ultimate hacker, a sort of virtual walking net book.

I’m not sure I’d want Nina's ability to ‘Push’ people into doing something I want, too easy to abuse and get someone killed.

They never indicated if the chip was removed from Gary’s neck, which begs the question will someone be able to manipulate him in the future. After the build up of the attraction between Cameron (Warren Christie) and Nina (Laura Mannell) I want to know why they’re ticked off at one another. How will the drugs given to Dr. Rosen (David Strathairn) will affect him, if at all. How is the team going to pull it together after the separation. I enjoy this show and look forward to the answers in future episodes.

Warehouse 13

Warehouse13 is back on the air. Pete (Eddie McClintock and Myka (Joanne Kelly) are great as a team. Solid writing and plot. Claudia (Allison Scagliotti) and Atrie's (Saul Rubinek) relationship as always is fun to listen to and watch.
Brother Adrian, (Brent Spiner), the enigmatic leader of a clandestine organization called the Brotherhood of the Knights of the Black Diamond, connected is someway to the Knights Templar. Brother Adrian arrives on the scene while Artie and Claudia art trying to recover Magellan's sextant so they can restore "Warehouse 13" destroyed in the third-season finale.

For you neophytes Warehouse 13 is a government-run repository of supernatural, historically and/or mythological artifacts. During the destruction several members of the Warehouse 13 team killed.

The survivors include Secret Service Agents Myka Bering and Pete Lattimer as well as their boss, Artie Nielsen, along with Claudia and and Lena (Genelle Williams) Pete, Myka, Atrtie and Claudia contemplate utilizing a particularly powerful artifact to rewrite history and restore things to the way they were. The four take off with less than 24 hours to complete their quest.  Having the team picked off one at a time so Artie has to bear the burden of Brother Adrian's dire pronouncement is a great plot twist. Brother Adrian also wants that artifact, though, his reasons aren't clear, yet.

The cast has great on screen chemistry. The writing is solid and stories well plotted and executed.
I have to say Bernt Spiner (Star Trek's, Data) is a favorite of mine. I always tuned in to if the writer's of Star Trek TNG were going to twist Data personality and how they would do it. I lost count (53 three personality changes was my last) of how many times they messed with Data's mind. One episode displayed Spiner talent when he played three parts on screen at the same time, Data, his father Doctor Noonien Soong, and Data's evil Brother Lore.

Fly Like A Bird

To fly like a bird. Man has dreamed of taking flight from ancient times.

From the Islamic Times 1998.
The story of two men’s attempts at gliding. In 852 AD a Moor in Cordoba, Spain, Armen Firman, constructed a wing-like cloak with the intention of using the garment to glide. Jumping from a tower in Cordoba, Firman survived with only minor injuries because his wing-like garments caught enough air to break his fall.
Probably inspired by this attempt In 875 AD, twenty-three years after Armen Firman's flight, Abba Ibn Firnas designed and built a flying machine which was capable of carrying a human being.

In Greek mythology, Icarus , the Latin spelling, conventionally adopted in English, is the son of the master craftsman Daedalus. The main story told about Icarus is his attempt to escape from Crete by means of wings that his father constructed from feathers and wax. He ignored instructions not to fly too close to the sun, and the melting wax caused him to fall into the sea where he drowned.

Leonardo Di Vinci was condemned as a hereticBy the church for daring to believe man could fly. Leonardo persisted.
http://www.angelfire.com/electronic/awakening101/leonardo.html
Science Fiction writers would have us strap a jet engine to our back and away we go. Manned flight and gliding over long distances. The stuff of science fiction, right. Not really. Where is this all leading? From science fiction to science fact.

In 1965 movie Thunderball, James Bond flew an actual jet pack (Well a stunt man did.)

A while back a friend sent me a youtube link to Jet Man. Yves Rossy took a jet powered flight over the Grand Canyon in May 2011 using the Breitling wing. If you haven’t seen this spectacular man and his flight click on this link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgdIE2t8QkM

I heard about flying suits but the first time I saw one used was in the Laura Croft movie ‘Cradle Of Life. Angelina & Gerard’s characters used the flying suit to escape from a high rise in Hong Kong. Click on the link and check out this flying suit flight.
http://vimeo.com/15479617
Can we be far from the time when personal air craft will be as common as Luke speeder from Star Wars and cost abut the same as a luxury car

Difference Between Viewpoints

Difference between viewpoints –This was the hardest thing for me to grasp as I started to write. I worked on this for a long time to conquer POV because viewpoint it can be very confusing. When you discuss viewpoint you are referring to how the story is told. You have to decide whether it will be told from a first person, third person omniscient, or third person limited. Those three are the main viewpoints that stories are told from. Each viewpoint has its pros and cons. The decision of what viewpoint to ell your story from depends largely on the type of story you’re attempting to tell, your writing style, and the message you wish to convey. If you want a personal more intimate story, first person is often the choice. Though many writers hate the use of first person as they claim it’s too repetitious and confining. (If you’re not familiar with stories told in this viewpoint check out Sue Grafton’s Kinsey Milhone Series.)

Personally I prefer third person omniscient The story can be told from the viewpoint of one character but can shift to another when your protagonist is injured or out of the scene and you need to story to carry on. Otherwise if your next scene jumps to what your character is seeing. Third person omniscient is harder because you must to tell the story from the viewpoint of several different characters and not confuse the reader.

If you choose this POV I would make one suggestion, read books written in this style. (Raymond E Fiest’s Riftwar Saga is a good example. Fiest uses the lives of multiple character to tell his tale.) Writers who use this technique usually change POV by starting a new chapter. This gives the reader a break in thought and it is less confusing.
Most writers prefer the third person limited the reason is simple. It is the easiest and most compelling viewpoint, in their opinion.

There is also second person viewpoint but rarely will you read a story or book told this way. Second person is the least commonly used POV in fiction, though there are a few examples. However, second person viewpoint does exist, so at least learn what it entails.

Second person point of view, the narrator tells the story to another character using "you"; The story is being told through the addressee's point of view. Tom Robbins's Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas is one example of a novel told in second person. Many of the stories in Lorrie Moore's book Self-Help are also written in the second person.
But the main thing is, once you start a story from one viewpoint stick with it. Otherwise you lose your credibility with the reader and most often will not find yourself published. Besides, it is confusing as a new writer to try and switch between viewpoints. However, seasoned pros often do this and do it well.

Pretend your POV character’s eyes are a camera This is the best way to phrase what I am trying to get across. It has to do with creating characters and setting. The first rule of creative writing is SHOW, DON’T TELL. Say your character enters a room for the first time. You want you reader to know what the character looks like, not by telling them specifically, but my mentioning things that they do and their body language, their habits–maybe they stumble, making them a clumsy person, or they could be cutting their eyes, which creates an aura of untrust – the way they are dressed, etc. This creates their personality for the reader without you having to explain the kind of person that they are. And you want the reader to feel like they are in the setting by describing the surroundings, much like they were watching a movie. You don’t want to go overboard by taking away from the character or the story, but mentioning things that are in the room, setting the scene, helps your reader visualize and makes the story real. A writer must convey what a person is thinking by showing emotions, like fear, anger, excitement. Through the use of facial expressions, body language and actions.

Avoid the use of purple prose – Wikipedia describes purple prose this way: "purple prose is a literary criticism. It is used to describe passages, or sometimes entire literary works, written in prose so overly extravagant, ornate or flowery as to break the flow and draw attention to itself. Purple prose is sensuously evocative beyond the requirements of its context. It also refers to writing that employs certain rhetorical effects such as exaggerated sentiment or pathos in an attempt to manipulate a reader’s response."

The lesson here is not to fall so in love with your own writing that you lose your reader. Taking advantage of apt metaphors and similes is great but use them sparingly, they are required, for great writing.

The advise given by Mark Twain in his letter to D.W.Bowser in 1880 is appropriate here. "I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English - it is the modern way and the best way. Stick to it; don’t let fluff and flowers and verbosity creep in. When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don’t mean utterly, but kill most of them - then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are wide apart. An adjective habit, or a wordy, diffuse, flowery habit, once fastened upon a person, is as hard to get rid of as any other vice."

Thus we move on to the next tip:
Edit, edit, edit and edit some more. Different writers find different formulas for editing. Some edit as they go wanting the page finished before they move on to the next verses. Others insist that the only way they can work creatively is to just start writing. They let the words flow they go back and flush out the details. I work both ways but it will take a while to figure out what works best for your style. No matter what kind of editor you are, make sure of one thing, NEVER allow a story to contain misspelled words or wrong grammar. Also, punctuation and format are crucial to getting your story published. Start now at the outset and consider yourself a professional, Even if you haven‘t been published, act like a pro and you will become one.

 But the main thing I am talking about when I mention editing is getting rid of the fluff, the unnecessary words, characters, scenes, etc. Ever good writer creates several drafts of his or her work before they consider their story complete. Also after you have edited your story to the best of your ability have someone you trust else read your manuscript. Not someone who will tell you haw good it is but someone who will point out the weak or bad parts. I have found over time that I tend to read what I think I wrote and many times not what is actually on the page. Every great writer has an editor.

Rarely if ever will you hear of a writer, no matter how famous, who writes a story in one draft. Most writers have to create at least three or four drafts of a story before they are satisfied that it is right. Don’t be satisfied until it is.

Erueka Finale

All good thing come to an end, and so it is with the SYFY series Eureka. The final show had all the elements that made the show a must watch for me every week. Some out of control piece of technology was about to destroy the town and as usual Jack had to throw himself (literally) into his job to prevent the disaster. Along the way Fargo figures out how to save the town and get his girl back. Matt Frewer along with other made cameos, and a lot of loose ends were wrapped up.

While I think SYFY made a mistake canceling the show the cast did a wonderful job of making us feel good about the end and yet life goes on, we just won’t be there to see it. I understand the cancellation of shows, is a financial decision, but to drop a show and leave the characters hanging (Alien Nation, The Finder) to name a few is uncalled for, finish it up and walk away. They did it with Monk, In Plain Sight, The Closer, Burn Notice, Etc.

I’m not talking about closure, just end the show on a high note and life goes on, it always does. That my take anyway.

Couple of Sound Bytes

To reword and old adage from Vietnam for my government. "Spending money you don’t have to achieve prosperity is like newlyweds copulating to achieve virginity."

Like to thank anonymous on the internet for this one - Profanity: a feeble minds attempt to express itsself forcibly

Dialogue Tags vs Descriptive Beats

In any good ‘how to write fiction’ book you’ll find at least one chapter if not two on the use and formatting of dialogue. Since dialogue can reveal a writer’s strengths or weaknesses, crafting good dialogue can be difficult. There are many pitfalls that writers can stumble into with dialogue.

There are skills you can develop to strengthen your dialogue. I would like to offer some insights into dialogue tags, descriptive beats in place of tags, and how to punctuate them. While these mechanics aren’t actually dialogue, they do draw attention to it and can influence how your readers will read a character’s dialogue and draw a reader into your story.

Definition.
Dialogue tag: A manner of speaking. Comes before or after dialogue.

Eg:
she said.
he shouted.

I find there are two common mistakes or misconception we all have with the use dialogue tags.

First: Being afraid to use said or asked.
Second: Believing said or asked becomes repetitive.

As a result, many writers have their characters constantly, stating, shouting, mumbling, murmuring, whispering, responding, commenting or commanding. When we feel the need to explain how a characters says something, then his or her dialogue isn’t strong enough. At the other end of the spectrum, if your dialogue is strong enough, then your tag only repeats to the reader what your character has just shown them.

There is a time and place for non said or asked dialogue tags. The excessive use of these tags is considered weak writing.

I've asked and heard the question asked, "Doesn’t the use of ‘said’ or ‘asked’ become repetitive and boring?"

The short answer is: No. As writers we are attuned to words. We pay attention to them. But if you’re doing you job right, the average reader is engrossed in the story and connected to the characters. A reader's eyes tends to pass over ‘said’ or ‘asked.’ If these tags stand out, it usually means your narrative isn’t being woven sufficiently into the dialogue.
Another mistake is over using the said or asked tags when there are only two characters in the scene. An occasional tag should be used in a long scene of dialogue to help the reader keep track of who is speaking. In scenes with more then two characters a combination of dialogue tags and descriptive beats will keep the story moving and the reader engrossed.
In his book ‘The Sixteenth Man" Thomas B. Sawyer’s entire manuscript is written without a single dialogue tag. Rather, Tom effectively uses descriptive beats for two person dialogue and for scenes with multiple character

Definition.
Descriptive beat: A sentence before, after, or breaking up dialogue that describes a character’s response or action.
Eg:
Janet finished brushing her hair. "I’m ready for my close up."

Len held out a steaming mug."Coffee, Mark?"
These examples are very basic. You can effectively eliminate all or most dialogue tags by weaving descriptive beats into your dialogue. However, any writer must be cautious about the use of descriptive beats. You need to pick quality descriptions, ones that reveal a character’s personality, motivation or adds to the setting and feel of the story. Having a characters make too many meaningful glances, or smiles, or nods will make your descriptions feel repetitive and unoriginal.

Another area easy to fix, that will strengthen your writing is punctuation.
Dialogue tag: "Hand me that book," he asked. (Comma inside the quotation marks)
Descriptive Beat: He pointed to the tome. "Hand me that book." (Period inside the quotations)
It’s as simple as paying attention to what you’re writing. Ask yourself this question. Is this a way of speaking? If yes, then punctuate with a comma. If no, use a period.
A final note, there are always gray areas. Groaned for example, is it a way of speaking or a noise made?
"Oh no," he groaned.
"Oh no." He groaned.
This is where you, the writer, has ultimate control of your story, by determining the best way to use the rules of the craft to tell your tale.

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Send comments or questions to richard@mesatyree.com

Watch Your Language

One of the jobs I had in my younger days was doing mobile home maintenance for  Palm Harbor Homes. On a trip down to Yuma Arizona, I was traveling with Bill. The entire way to Yuma he pontificated on the deterioration of the English by our young people.

Never mind that English is one of the most fluid adaptive languages. How many words have been added to our vocabulary since the dawn of computers, (CPU, Motherboard, Daughterboard, RAM, NIC, USB, firewire, DVD/DVDRW, email, etc.) Science Fiction Books and movies have added to the growing lexicon.

Keep Your Writing, Your Records in Order

Due to some additional pages in the record we discovered we moved several scenes around in Second Genesis today. This is turning out to be an intense process due to some problem in the past that jumbled the records. We have found pages out of order and this has caused delays, due to confusion as to what event came when. Second Genesis has had the most problem as these records are the earliest we have.

A word of caution. Date everything you write especially journal entries. You never know when you might have to refer to them.

Rewrite

Making good progress on both The Adam Eradication rewrite and Second Genesis. The latter is where the whole MacKenna Sage begins. A tale that shows the long term effects of the lust of power and where it could ultimately lead any civilization.

Back To Our Story

Richard and I continue to read through the journal translations. Richard has laid out five book to tell the complete Saga. The journals are more complete then we first considered and cover the MacKenna and Santiago history for more than two thousand years. As we discovered the depth of the records Richard made the decision to re-edited The Adam Eradication. Instead of the first book in the series it is now the middle of the story. The MacKenna Saga starts on the Home World and spreads out to cover a very long span of history. The story is filled with plenty of greed, murder, and treachery, but also has heroic deeds, close calls, and self sacrifice. It is the story of those willing to face death, and forfeit their lives to maintain a free and open society.

Domain Name Ownership

My friend Artur has been battling a problem for a client. I though I might share a word of warning for any who read this and are considering purchasing a domain name. It doesn’t matter if it’s for personal of business use, purchase the name yourself. Do this before you contact anyone about creating a website. DO NOT allow a web developer or a webmaster to tell you they will "take care of that for you."

You could wind up not owning your own domain name. This is what Arthur's  client just went through.

Many times when a webmaster or some big hosting company setups a site for a customer they register themselves as the owner of the domain name. Should you try and part ways some where down the road you could find yourself in a bind trying to regain control of your own domain name.

Registering a domain name is a simple process. There a several sites you can use, Register.com is one, Richard use godaddy.com. Near the top of the of the Godaddy landing page you’ll see a rectangle with the words,

"Search For A New Domain."

Type in the name you’ve chosen and click go. The site will tell you if the domain name is available or not and offer options if the one you what is not available. If it is available follow the instruction and purchase the domain yourself. Once you’ve completed that process you can buy web hosting from godaddy or somewhere else. Either way the hosting service will help you get your website up and running or you can hire a web designer.

Whatever you do, do not sign away control of your domain name. Set up your hosting and give you web designer the logon name, password and web address. That is all they need to publish their designs and changes to your web. They don’t need access to your Godaddy or Registry.com account. When they’re done you change the password, that way you maintain control of your name and website and save a lot of headaches.

A Word About Journals

Ever wonder why some people keep meticulous journals of their lives. Have you wondered who would care. While most lives never venture into the realms of danger or adventure, records of our lives are of interest to our families. What you will come to learn is just how important journals and diaries can be to future generations. If not for the detailed family journals we would never have been able to bring you these stories.

Kalen

Alter Your Thinking

All the Science Fiction books you read growing up, you assumed came from the author's imaginations, didn't you? Your belief that it was all made up was set in stone. You were as sure of that as you are of the sun rising.
What’s going to change you mind?
Time is short, so I’ll just tell you over the next weeks and months I’llbe sharing some family history from long ago and far away that just may alter your thinking about what is Science FICTION